Graduate Blues: Living in Limbo

      It's literally been a year since I've posted, so who knows if anyone will read this. About a month has gone by since I've graduated with my 4-year business degree. The typical questions I've had since graduating are along the lines of  "So what are your plans?" or "Are you going to grad school?" or my favorite, "Have you found a job yet?" *cringes* I know these questions are inevitable, but it becomes frustrating because I don't have a definite answer to these questions. At some points I felt self-concise/ashamed because I didn't have it all figured out.
   
     To be completely honest, I wasn't excited about graduating last month. It's not to say that I'm ungrateful, because I'm very thankful that God blessed me to graduate on time. It was more so an uneasiness about the future. My assumptions would be that I'd have job offers lined up and I'd find my "dream" job. Well that most definitely did not happen and I felt extremely discouraged. Day after day I search for jobs that will remotely attract my interest. Most of my results are typically "sales associate", "sales rep" or "call center". Sure there are plenty of positions available but I don't want to settle anymore. Every job that I've had (retail), I was never completely happy with. During college I was a campus brand rep for PINK by Victoria Secret and I never would have expected to love it as much as I did. It combined what I loved; fashion, working with a creative team, and sparked my interest in event planning. Ideally, this would be my dream job; marketing, fashion, and event planning.

    Not only has it been a struggle (it's real ya'll) to find a job, I'm also deciding whether or not to purse an MBA degree. My parents and pretty much every "adult" I talk to encourage me to go. Yes, a master's degree potentially leads to a higher chance of a prestigious career, but at the same time I have to wonder if the same boring jobs are going to be offered to me. A part of me is cringing at the thought of going back to school and writing more papers (lawd). Another part of me wants to go, just to buy more time before finding a job. Then again, a lot of grad schools look for professional work experience, so I'm right back where I started.

    Despite my state of limbo (I guess that's what it could be called), I know that God causes all things to work together for my good because I love Him and I'm called for His purpose. While I wait in this season, I'm learning a few things:

1. Stay Positive
   When life doesn't go the way you plan, its easy to become discouraged and go to a negative place. I was definitely there for a while, doubting myself and essentially doubting God. Part of the battle is in our minds and we can't let the enemy take host in our minds bringing in negativity. Everyday I try to focus on the positives in my life and thank God for what He's already blessed me with.
P.S. I've also found it helpful to post sticky notes of encouraging scriptures all around my room in places where I'm bound to look.

2. Trust God
    I've come to realize that I am a control freak I have everything planned out the way I feel it should go. Truth be told, I may think I'm in control but honestly God has His own agenda for my life. It may seem that God's moving slow or not giving us what we want, but whatever He's got up His sleeve is far greater than what our earthly minds can think of. It's less stressful and exhausting when you just trust God and let Him do all the heavy lifting.

3. Stay active
    Although we have given God complete control and trusted Him, this does not give us permission to sit on our bums. We hear all too often "faith without works is dead"(James 2:17) and its absolutely true. We can't expect God to help up us reach our goals if we're not showing Him that we really want it. What's the point of having a dream if you don't work to make it a reality? It's really easy to let your lazy bone set in, and I'm a witness, but we have to show God that He can trust us with His blessings.

For my active routine, I'm going to:
 1. continue looking for jobs/networking
 2. work for my parents to learn all I can about running a business
 3. take quiet walks in the park (hopefully lead to full workouts lol)
 4. research to develop my own brand
 5. daily bible studies
 6. continue helping my church to the best of my ability

I just believe that if we continue to stay positive and fully trust and honor God, He will give us the desires of our heart.

Scriptures that are encouraging me

Romans 8:25 NLT 

" But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently."

Romans 8:28 NLT
"28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:37-39 NLT

"37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Xoxo Deleon